it’s tough being me.

just a few days ago, a friend from the camera club casually told me over dinner that the reason why i still do not have a boyfriend is because i’m so suplada daw. i naturally tried to defend myself and told him well, you know, there was a time when i was not like this.

i could clearly remember back in the elementary and high school days i was one of those jolly kids. i had a laughter that made my teachers angry cuz i was loud and boisterous. up to this day if you ask my old friends to describe me they’d say i’m a cheerful, happy go lucky gal. too bad that started to change as i grew older. i can’t really pinpoint the exact year when the turn about started. my college classmates still referred to me as the girl who smiled a lot. maybe it was after graduation?

honestly, if somebody asked me today if i like the person that i’ve become, i would say NO in a heart beat. i have become so suplada, so negative, so frustrated about life most of the time that no one would consider me approachable. i’ve grown to be so different from the person i was 5 to ten years ago. nobody ever said growing up was easy. seeing the real world and knowing just how difficult it is to survive and stay afloat is enough to turn a previously jolly person into a witch. yes, witch, that’s me. i’m sure there are some people out there who’d call me that. it’s tough being me. on a daily basis, i am put in a position wherein i have to deliver bad news and i have to scream and get mad at people just to get things done.

sometimes i tell myself it’s all about perspective. maybe if i see the brighter side of things i’d look less suplada. maybe if i just change my attitude about certain issues then life wouldn’t be too difficult. i guess i need to try harder to be more mature about things, to not let one issue ruin my entire day and to not let one incident dictate how i should relate to other people. it’s not going to be an easy feat but i will have to try harder.

one thing i need to constantly remind myself is this: what won’t kill you will only make you stronger.

on a happier note, just a few thingies that put a smile to my face despite the everyday stressors that i have to deal with:

1.) Michael Jackson – yes, i am still in love with him and i still listen to his songs day in and day out. just one look at his bright beautiful smile is almost enough to melt all my troubles away. i’ve spent a small fortune already buying all his CDs and books yet still i’m hungry for anything MJ. just 6 days ’till the showing of his documentary movie This Is It. i really think i might bawl my eyes out in the movie house. haha 🙂 i love you MJ!

my precious love 🙂

2.) Glee –  i am officially addicted to this new TV show! Dich and i have gone Glee-crazy downloading every new episode that’s made available on torrents. haha! i love how the characters just suddenly burst into song, i love the arrangements and the vocals, the choreography, everything! this show rocks and i hope they stay on air for a long long time. oh, it doesn’t hurt that the main guy character is uber cute too!

Finn is the man!

3.) new puppies – our baby girl Kimi gave birth to her second litter 2 days ago and we welcomed three precious little puppies into the world. say hello to Russel, Ellie & Kevin! their names are inspired by the movie Up. hehe. 🙂 i know the picture sucks but i haven’t had time to take pictures of them yet. Kimi is doing such a good job taking care of her babies. surely we’re not keeping any of the pups so we only have about 2 months to bond with them before they go to their new owners.

4.) photo shoots – i’d say i have a love-hate relationship with this. there was a time i got so burned out by successive days of just taking pictures both on location and at the studio. i felt like all i ever did was shoot and edit shoot and edit shoot and edit. but when i come up with images like these i am reminded of the reason why i fell in love with photography in the first place. 2 of my favorite shots from Steve & Sherlin’s maternity portrait session. 🙂

excited parents to be

gorgeous at 8 months

i guess that’s about it for now. i will not talk about work or anything BB-related on this post. 🙂

i’ve been down in the dumps lately but i know i’ll manage. i mean, i have to because i have no other choice. life is a constant battle sometimes you lose and sometimes you win. that’s just the way it is.

p.s speaking about growing up, here’s one sure sign of age taking it’s toll on me. eyeglasses! haha! i only use them when i’m reading or when i’m on the computer. how do i look bespectacled?

me and my eyeglasses